a book by Francesco Alberoni (1998)
FALLING
IN LOVE is a wonderful unique experience that can be described as a
succession of eternal instants.
Every
moment feels like for ever, lovers say YES to each other again and
again.
When
in love, future and past disappear, time exists only in the PRESENT
tense.
The
concept of falling in love is associated, mostly in Western cultures,
with obstacles.
LOVE IS IMPOSSIBLE, LOVE IS PROIHIBITED.
The
lovers find pleasure in the struggling dilemma of being consumed by
an impossible love.
This
idea is reflected in Western fiction, from kids fairy tales
(Cinderella) to classics (Romeo&Juliet) to contemporary YA
mainstream (Twilight).
LOVE
WITHOUT OBSTACLES IS considered BORING, dull, uninteresting,
uneventful.
Daily
life is represented by disappointment. There are so many things to
do, most of which are imposed by others and urgent. External
pressures come first and what we really want to do is just a dream:
"It would be so nice if..."
Days
become years, time is tinted with opacity and mediocrity. “”Normal”
life is not happiness, it's merely hanging in there.
Falling
in love breaks the routine like a blinding light, a mortal danger.
Falling in love sets free real desires, brings them back to life.
Accepting
the change means opening up to a different existence, without any
warranty of success.
Time
and space are suspended, the lovers live in a state of GRACE,
abandoned to the wonderful gift of each other.
Falling
in love prevails over rationality, it can not be helped. The lovers
surrender every certainty and resource they possess.
After
the initial, liberating period, most people start to find these
feelings too unsettling. They come to miss the serene dull life. They
find no peace until the extreme feelings are tamed.
In
ordinary life we invoke ecstasy, in extraordinary moments we seek
tranquillity. And so
an exciting parenthesis of falling in love becomes again boring,
dull, love.
Except
in fiction, where stories end at the "and they lived happily
ever after".
As Alfred Hitchcock said: "Drama is life with the dull parts cut out of it".
