a book by Francesco Alberoni (1998)
FALLING IN LOVE is a wonderful unique experience that can be described as a succession of eternal instants.
Every moment feels like for ever, lovers say YES to each other again and again.
When in love, future and past disappear, time exists only in the PRESENT tense.
The concept of falling in love is associated, mostly in Western cultures, with obstacles.
LOVE IS IMPOSSIBLE, LOVE IS PROIHIBITED.
The lovers find pleasure in the struggling dilemma of being consumed by an impossible love.
This idea is reflected in Western fiction, from kids fairy tales (Cinderella) to classics (Romeo&Juliet) to contemporary YA mainstream (Twilight).
LOVE WITHOUT OBSTACLES IS considered BORING, dull, uninteresting, uneventful.
Daily life is represented by disappointment. There are so many things to do, most of which are imposed by others and urgent. External pressures come first and what we really want to do is just a dream: "It would be so nice if..."
Days become years, time is tinted with opacity and mediocrity. “”Normal” life is not happiness, it's merely hanging in there.
Falling in love breaks the routine like a blinding light, a mortal danger. Falling in love sets free real desires, brings them back to life.
Accepting the change means opening up to a different existence, without any warranty of success.
Time and space are suspended, the lovers live in a state of GRACE, abandoned to the wonderful gift of each other.
Falling in love prevails over rationality, it can not be helped. The lovers surrender every certainty and resource they possess.
After the initial, liberating period, most people start to find these feelings too unsettling. They come to miss the serene dull life. They find no peace until the extreme feelings are tamed.
In ordinary life we invoke ecstasy, in extraordinary moments we seek tranquillity. And so an exciting parenthesis of falling in love becomes again boring, dull, love.
Except in fiction, where stories end at the "and they lived happily ever after".
As Alfred Hitchcock said: "Drama is life with the dull parts cut out of it".