Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose by Ayala Malach Pines
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
"Falling in love" by the American-Israeli Psychologist A.M.Pines is a reference book for all those who are interested in studying the mysteryes of love. It includes detailed scientific research results and provides "the big picture" on the love theme from different psychological perspectives from the last century up to date.
I have never found such a comprehensive book on love and I like the professional approach A.M.Pines employes, to face a theme that nearly everyone on earth wants to hear about.
As Helen Fisher says, not many of us walk the path of life without being struck by love. A.M.Pines thoroughly discusses all love-related arguments and provides proven data for each one of them.
If you are interested in "Falling in love" and "how we choose the lovers we choose" then you may find interesting a video I'd like to redirect you to. It's called "The brain in love" and it's an amazing course on love by Helen Fisher. You can find it on Ted talks at the following link.
View all my reviews
If I could get paid for reading...
I often have the feeling that I read too many books on how to write a book.
It's a good way to avoid the haunting blank page without feeling too guilty about it.
After all, I'm still doing something about my writing!
Except I'm not writing, I'm reading.
I've always been a book worm.
If I could get paid for reading instead of writing, I would be a trillionaire before I turn 40 years old. Unfortunately that's not the case, and so I keep reading books on how to write a book.
I'm loving this book. It's simple to read, easy to follow, it contains practical useful tips.
In the preparatory days before even starting to write your book, Paul Lima suggests you do a simple exercise called Freefalling, nothing new, just the good old 10 minutes brainstorming where you write no stop without worrying about editing, spelling or silliness.
Then Paul Lima suggests your try a variation of freefalling called Directed freefalling: you pick a sentence and start writing whatever comes to mind in relation to that line, brainstorming for 10 minutes or more.
Exercise: Directed Freefalling
Last night I tried the directed freefalling exercise using as my first line a simple sentence that was flashing on my laptop, totally unrelated to the task: "The bell rang..."
In ten minutes I had written 323 words about some weird accident that happened in my high school fifteen years ago and I had never thought of since.
The story was catchy, fun and smelled of bullies and Nirvana.
I read it again today, started editing it, and I intend to submit it by the end of March for the flash fiction competition Lascaux 250.
Every year the Lascaux 250 flash fiction contest gets hundreds of submissions. The entries are required to be no longer than 250 words, submissions close on 20 March 2014.
Last year the competition was free, this year it requires a payment of 4$ but the first prize winner will get a reward based on the number of submissions received.
Everyone can send more than one story, every genre is accepted (except rude and offensive contents).
This will be my second year participating in the Lascaux writing competition: I strongly recommend every writer to submit their stories, and this is why:
- You get to see your story online, your name among the other writers. This makes you feel good and motivates you to keep going.
- You get to read hundreds of flash fiction stories, that is a great writing exercise.
- Comments to your story are a precious feedback for improving your writing skills.
- Comments to other stories help you to distinguish between good stories and weak stories.
Let me know if you decide to participate, I will make sure to leave a comment on your entry. I hope you will do the same with mine.
And if you know of any other good writing contests, please share in the comments section.
Have a good novel!
Creative writing – a psychological perspective
Fear is the cause of failure.
Failure starts when I'm not true to myself for fear of:
- external judgement: my mind is focused on what you think of me
instead of roaming freely in a creative mood;
- high expectations: my mind is scared of not meeting the top
target I'm imposing myself. Doing my best to get better does not mean
caging my ideas for fear of them being wrong or silly;
- limited point of view: if I never look out of the window, I will live in a
very small world. Being narrow minded implies missing tons of opportunities, prompts and fun;
- low motivation: if I put gas in a leaking tank I will never
reach my objective. Low motivation is always a symptom of some fight that is happening between my behaviors and my values;
- external worries: everything that is not related to writing is a
distraction that stops me from reaching my objective.
MY OBJECTIVE IS TO FREE MY CREATIVITY:
1) I decide to sign a contract with myself:
I ask myself: Why is writing so important to me?
"Stories are the single most powerful tool in a leader's toolkit” (Howard Gardner)
2) Once I'm clear about why I'm ready to do anything it takes
to free my creativity, I need an action plan to verify my progress.
How to overcome:
- external judgement: I need higher self esteem and confidence in
my abilities
- high expectations: I need to take destructive criticism and turn
it into constructive criticism
- limited point of view: get out of my comfort zone
- low motivation: get to know my real values, how my behaviors
affect them, fix the problem. This does not mean I give up. It means
I compromise and choose a new satisfaction criteria.
- external worries: carefully choose what is more important. Is my
worry really that crucial that I can't think about it later?
Immediate strategies to boost my creativity
It takes time to free my creativity. I need it today, right now.
THIS IS HOW I CAN GET MY CREATIVITY RIGHT NOW:
WARNING: this is a quick fix that does NOT substitute the complex work of freeing my creativity for good.
The genius of Walt Disney was to understand that the creative
process comes in three different phases: creative, critic, and
realist.
He then chose three different settings, each one devoted to
only one of activity:
§ a room to daydream without criticism or interference
§ a room to cruelly criticize every idea
§ a room to be pragmatic, rational and realistic
I need to choose my settings carefully.
Where do I feel free to dream, no limits?
Why do I feel this way about the place?
If there's no such place available to me right now, how can I
create it?
While I set up for work, I feel very thankful for my loyal and warm BFF... of course, it's CAFFE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a good novel!
